life as a naked mole rat

A short story by Thomas Gwin Pedron, esq.

if i was a naked mole rat i would get all tan underarmour, and attach whiskers to my face and f---ing crawl around my labryinth like a fucking molerat eating insects and shit. raising a litter or twenty or so g-d--- kids in their private cave feeding them with postal stamps and f---ing rainboots or whatever the f--- molerats eat
definitely not carrots cause those motherf---ers are blind. my tunnel network would take me from f---ing kroger straight to class, then back to my s--- hot den, where i would f--- my hota-- naked molerat wife then f---ing impregnate her with like, f---ing 30 more kids digging more g--d--- caves and shit
f---
my life sucks compared to that