A Tale of Turkey: The Beginning

Let this be a cautionary tale. A blow by blow account of one untrained, untalented young architect's journey toward culinary self awakening. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, particularly of the digestive sort. It all began one cool November day. The young man awoke looking forward to a thanksgiving spent with his youngest brother, one second lieutenant Thomas Pedron. Bright eyed and ready for the day ahead, this young man strode to work, knowing that later that day a thanksgiving dinner would arrive, lovingly prepared by his mother, that he and his brother would consume the following day whilst being thankful for all of their blessings, remembering family far away and regretting being financially unable to travel home to see them. When the package finally arrives, the young man is greeted not by the scrawled, child-like lettering of his mother, but rather by the stark, corporate and forboding title "MEAT HUB", which vaguely sounds either like the name of a terrible slaughter house/ internet cafe or a gay club that is only open on tuesday afternoons. When the young many opens it, he is not greeted by the prepared delicacies to which he had become accustomed in his 26 years on this earth, nor the lovingly prepared dishes he had been promised, but rather by multiple packages in mailing envelopes. Not knowing what to expect the young man reached into the cooler only to recoil in shock. His fingers burned. Burned with the pain of extreme cold. He has unknowingly placed his hand on a block of dry ice. He then removed all potentially harmful chemicals, and placed them aside, oncovering a cache of dead animals frozen, packaged and uncooked. Not knowing how to proceed, he placed them on the counter and stared bewildered by them. His diet normally consisted of spaghetti of the one pot variety, macaroni and cheese, and fast food, hardly a chef by any means. Given meager kitchen appliances (microwave/ toaster oven/ blender/ stove top/ and an oven that didn't work), the young man pondered what to do with the dead and decaying flesh defrosting on his counter. The following is an account of the adventure of the thanksgiving of 2012. Any tips/ advice/ suggestions are extremely appreciated.

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